I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
