Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
