He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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