You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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