saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I've blown a few things in my day
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
