he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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