I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
