I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Randomize
