You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
