Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
