we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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