Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
