she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he fucked my hip out of place.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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