Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
