woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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