I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
