It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
