Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
