i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
