I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
