idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
