me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
