if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
