I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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