If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
