ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
