Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
