Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
