he was CRYING into my vagina
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
dude. I can hear the air.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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