Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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