There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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