So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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