come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
