dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
