Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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