so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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