There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
