I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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