i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize