Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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