exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
