It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
