so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
