Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
