I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
