Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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