aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
