Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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