He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
