every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
