We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
