youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
