I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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