Don't you send me to vm
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
