I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So vagazzling was a success
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
