I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
