It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
