wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
