if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
