im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize