I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
