This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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