Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
